Where in the world am I today?: North Vancouver, BC, Canada

Prologue: I met Mark Hawkins on a flight down to Nassau back at the end of 2006… At first I couldn’t remember exactly when it was, but then I pieced it together because I had just finished mailing out a Christmas Card that included a paper model of my S-Cargo and Mark offered to take a picture of it in front of Disney World in Florida… I sat down on the little puddle jumper that took us from Miami to Nassau and he struck up a conversation immediately… As he says –

“We were sitting in the back of an American Eagle Flight. I talked to you first – you just LOOKED like an entertainer.  We all seem to have a sort of look. Funny that. I don’t remember what I asked you, but it led to some sort of conversation that I also don’t remember. It must have been a good talk, though, because we’re still talking.”

A year or two after we first met he sent me an email interview for a book he was working on. I took the time to actually think about my responses and he seemed quite impressed with the content of the responses… Though we’ve never seen each other perform we just connected and were able to speak the same language based on our mutual knowledge and understanding of what it is that makes a show work. Oh, and he’s a cheeky bugger as I’m sure you’ll gather from his responses to the questions below.

STATS

Name: Mark Hawkins.
Birthday: None of your business.
Place of Birth: Hospital.
Started Peforming/Working in the Industry: I had an improv group in college that turned into a sketch group
and I got interested in doing standup around that time.  I suppose “working in the industry” happened somewhere about that time when I went to the local comedy club to see what THAT was like.  I liked it – and stayed. But I guess the comedy club counts as “working in the industry.” Unless the college show counts. But I don’t think it does. I put together the show myself. It was just a bunch of college kids at a sub shop.  But it was pretty good – for college kids at a sub shop.
Discipline: No. I don’t have that.
Website: No. I don’t have that either.
Video Link: I REALLY don’t have that. I don’t even like that.
Venues Worked: Wouldn’t even know where to start. I started with comedy clubs and supplemented my income writing for comics. I branched out into corporate gigs when I found out you could do that and then spent a little time working colleges. I briefly did a corporate show with another guy and then went back to clubs. I became a seizure patient, which seriously limited my work options, so I ended up working casinos (which allowed me to live in the casino for months on end).  A few years later I found cruise ships (where I can live and who fly me wherever I need to go) and have been there ever since.

Hot 10 Questions:

1. What’s your favorite flavor of ice cream and why? • Jungle Sherbet from Baskin Robbins.  It had little chunks of Jungle in it.
2. Name one movie that would make it to your Top 10 all-time great films. • “Yank My Doodle It’s A Dandy.” Awesome characters, awesome story.
3. What was your favorite toy from childhood? • I was a big fan of the Pet Rock. You could do almost anything with it.
4. Who were your biggest inspirations when you got started? • All of them. Seriously. I could not get enough. I used to go to garage sales and buy any and every comedy album I could get. I loved them all. There is no question the biggest names stand out: Richard Pryor, Steve Martin, Bill Cosby, and George Carlin. But I believe they stand out because I learned so much later and I appreciate what they did and their contributions to the industry. When I was young, I laughed at much lesser known comedians just as much. I loved old radio shows, I loved Dr. Demento on Sunday nights, and I loved just hearing jokes from my friends. Who were my inspirations? Everybody. Laughing was my inspiration.
5. From the world of animation what one character do you most identify with or see yourself in? • Funny. You love the “just keep swimming” thing from Nemo so you want to see if everyone has something like that. …Um…I like the animated fish at the beginning of “Monty Python’s Meaning of Life.” They just swim around in circles and keep saying “good morning” to the same people. I feel like I swim around in circles and say the same stuff all the time. Doesn’t matter that I do new jokes all the time – it FEELS like I am doing the same thing all the time.
6. Name something that scares you. • A 1040 Long Form.
7. Apart from the entertainment industry, name one other job you’ve had. • Oh, I’ve done other stuff. Last job was making pizza. It sucked.
8. What’s something you haven’t done yet that you’d like to try? • Resting on my laurels. That would be great. I would love to jump right to being a “has-been.” It would be great to do exactly what I do now, but be paid a crap-load for it because I was once “Johnny, the next-door neighbour on ‘He’s Our Superintendant!’”
9. What’s your least favourite thing about being a performer? • The audience. Sure, it’s great when they are nice. But you can’t count on that. And when they suck – and they hate the same joke that killed just an hour earlier, they make it a point of letting you know. They stick around for the whole show, wait in line to talk to you, shake your hand to look you in the eye and say, “You really suck, mister.” That’s my least favorite thing about being a performer. THAT audience.
10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? • “Mark Hawkins. You’re early.  You’ll have to go back to earth and come back in about twenty years.”

The Nugget:

Pick one nugget of wisdom you’ve picked up from your career in Show Business to share with the World.

“When hitting your favorite Taco Bell Drive-Thru and ordering a Meximelt, always make sure you eat it on the way home. The cheese congeals quickly.”

–Mark Hawkins